I can assure you that a sensory hangover is a thing. Last night I went to a school program for my child and went to eat later than usual. I came home and I did great. I then fell asleep and had a kid awaken me about an hour later. I never really got back into a real sleep all night. I woke up on the couch with a sore neck and a migraine that made me really sick. I remember reading about sensory hangovers and now I know it's a real thing. I am exhausted, have a headache and everything hurts. Every time my kids talk, every time the lights get turned on. It's my body saying it's had way too much for the day. I kinda knew it was going to happen. I was waiting on it. What I wasn't waiting on was fighting with my child from taking the rubber stops off my head phones. She does this to every pair and somehow she found the ones I had in last night before I was able to put them up. Damn it!!! I love those headphones and now that 20.00 pair of skull candy headphones are usless. I don't know if she eats them or just hates them. She does this to every freakn pair I own. IT makes me so sick to my stomach. It's like the fact my phone is never charged because she is always on it. IT makes me mad that she thinks she can do whatever she wants with whatever she finds. She doesn't care either. Those 20.00 a pop I phone chargers get broke and yes they are returnable but seriously I think they are on to us. How many times can you return a charger? guess we will start buying them from different store now instead of just best buy.
Ah..... IT's been one of those days. One of those days I have spent mostly lying around yelling at my seeker for getting into trouble because I can't keep up with her today. Thank GOd for my first born who is the caregiver and the comforter. She is my angel today. She takes after her dad in this way and I am greatful. My seeker is losing it today. I mean she is having a sensory hangover as well but it's spent yelling and not stopping for three seconds to breathe.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
"I know, you are perfect"
I am not sure why it was said, but in an awkward facebook message my friend said "you are just perfect". I am pretty sure she just meant that I was doing okay That I was a good mom. Or at least I am going to take it that way. I don't really see her as a person to say mean things. This message has had me thinking for days though. I really made me think of something that has been hitting my heart andI have seen a lot of people faking it. I see people use the right facial gestures, wear the right clothes and post the right pictures online. I failed to mention I sense emotions. I since emotions better than I do anything else. I. I too have had a lot of social emotional issues that I have not really hidden but been very blunt about. Yes,. darn spd, adhd has allowed me to be blunt. and honest. At my age I don't hide it anymore I won't say anything bad about you, but I don't mind airing out my dirty laundry. My husband has to hit my shoulder every now and then and say "no one wants to know about that bruise on your butt" I think it's important but I guess no else does.
I have issues, I am not perfect. I fart in public places. I have thrown up just about any place I have ever stayed the night. (until recently.) I have cried, I have had days I wanted to give my children away. I have weeks where my kids eat pb and j more times than I am okay with admitting. I have days I spend more time mixing oils and lotions in the kitchen then I do homeschooling my kids. I have days I can't get off the couch. I have days where I am so sick with SPD I actually have to ask my kids to help me out. My kids are amazing by the way. They do understand and help out a lot. I have had marital struggles. I have had days my depression was horrible. I have had night my panic attacks so bad I thought I was going to die.
My healing has come first of all as a healing from God. I will be the first to admit I wish he had just healed me in a blink of an eye or a simple prayer. However God made me learn how to heal and how to cope. The first thing I have learned to is admit that I am not perfect, I am flawed. I need my savior to heal me, I need my savior to pick me up and hold me. God has been so gracious to me and allowed me to have a wonderful husband, two beautiful girls, a precious dog, two wonderful cat, and a home. These things have all come at a price. I have gone through stages in my ten years of marriage that some will never go through, I have also been through things that take a lifetime for others to experience.
Far from perfect I will admit, but then again what is "perfect"? I have a large section couch my dog has claimed as hers. I love to sit in the corner with a weighted blanket and a drink. (coke and my vanilla mixture on ice is awesome) I like to stare at the electric fire insert my husband just put in. I like to sit and watch videos on my iPhone. I like to sit there and and sing. I love to pray and thank God for the millions of blessings he has given to me and my family. We aren't perfect but I call this family. And I will take it.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
This is the page I created on Facebook to share resources and fun ideas. I have been adding websites that have helped us with homeschooling. Ignore the weird address. I created the page awhile back and just changed the title. Have I mentioned I am not good with computer stuff? I can just about use Facebook at that's it. I am blessed to have a husband who is actually very good at computer stuff :). If you visit this Facebook page, please like and follow so I have an idea how many people are following it.
https://www.facebook.com/Havestfestfunraiser/?ref=hl
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
To those who dont get it, to the ones who dont understand. Quit trying, you will never understand. Its my life and i dont get it. Quit trying to loop me into a crowd, keep talking about me behind my back. This is my life. If you love me I feel like you would understand I feel you would be okay with not understanding things. My family and I have been through so much in the past few years. We survived. I have healthy adjusted children. I own a home i rent out and i maintain another. I have two very high need children in this world of mine. I do what I can. I dont always know what i am doing but i try. I have learned to do my best by educating myself and asking for help. If you truelly do want to help someone, than pkease ask "how can I help"? With all do respect please do not make suggestions at this point i have tried all the options I Know. We have had my child to a dozen doctors it seems and it boils Down to this I am her mother, I make choices based on what i perceive to be best. I pray God leads me through the right doors, and he closes the others very very tight. By nature i am a kind and giving person. Right now I do not feel it. I fight for my marraige as the normal and not so normal struggles loom down and threaten to take over. I need you family, friends, and strangers to give is respect and love. I am so greatful for the family that has stepped in more times than i can count. I am greatful to lookback and see those moments in time you too were scared but you helped. random phone calls from aquntances, food on my step. People who dont mind hanging out with a family that doesnt have a church family to call home. Thank you! For loving us, thank you for the horse lessons, the halloween candy my kid can actually eat. For the kindess and patience as we figure this out. Prayers the lord will bless you in only the ways he can. He sees your heart and he knows your sacrifices.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
I read an article this week, a mama with a daughter on the autism spectrum wrote and article about herself instead of her daughter. I was inspired. I thought it was about time I break out the old blogger account and write on of my own. So, this is my lazy attempt at posting a message.
It's been almost a years since I have had any time of anxiety, or panic attack. I find it amazing and astonishing. The last attack was at my daughter's birthday day party. I thought I was going to have to go to the emergency room. MY parents and my husband talked me down and I realized I was just exhausted. I can't believe I have been so calm, and I can't believe I do not feel the anxiety and stress I feel in control for once in my life.
When I was 28 I had my second daughter Abbigail. When Abbigail was about 18 months we finally got a diagnosis that made since. Abbigail has sensory processing disorder. This disorder can mimic al of disorders and to make things clear, sometimes it doesn't follow any rules at all. Basically this sensory processing disorder takes all the sensory information into the nervous system and body at rates higher and at an faster rate than a neuro typical body would. It was the discover of Abby's diagnosis that would also change my life. When filling out paper work I had that pit in my stomach feeling that I knew sensory processing disorder is what was happening to me. This disorder is what had caused me to feel so left out as a child, a teen and an adult. I found out about my disorder the same time we found out about Abby's. I can't explain to you the joy and excitement I had found when I realized I wasn't alone in these panic attacks, episodes of fear, and anxiety. I also found our getting car sick was from the sensory issues I have.
A long time has passed since I realized that my "issues" had a name. I was greatful to find quite a few sites on facebook that were support group for adults as well the ones for children. It wasn't long after I started talking to adults with the disorder I realized I should start a support group for parents who were dealing with that I had been for a long time. I am still amazed to this day at how many parents do not know they have sensory perceptional disorder until they see it in a child. Sometimes the child is their own, and sometimes its a niece or a nephew. In a few situations its been a grand parent who has finally received relief even at an older age.
My healing has taken place from finding a name to my disorder, learning through the therapist helping my daughter, and realizing it takes a plan to be able to treat my situation. I had to learn to give myself grace, and treat myself with the same respect that I had given to others. Education, support, and grace. I have also received a great teacher in my husband. One day he told me "you have to realize you can't help the way your body feels and reacts to the situation". "The only thing you can do is be able to control how you deal with it. "
A dear online friend has written a handbook for adults with sensory processing disorder. I can't wait to share it with you when it is finally published. I have been greatful to have been a part of the facebook community as she was writing the book. I know I may be mentioned in the book somewhere, but it's a wonderful and amazing thought to realize that my disorder could in fact have helped others. .
It's been almost a years since I have had any time of anxiety, or panic attack. I find it amazing and astonishing. The last attack was at my daughter's birthday day party. I thought I was going to have to go to the emergency room. MY parents and my husband talked me down and I realized I was just exhausted. I can't believe I have been so calm, and I can't believe I do not feel the anxiety and stress I feel in control for once in my life.
When I was 28 I had my second daughter Abbigail. When Abbigail was about 18 months we finally got a diagnosis that made since. Abbigail has sensory processing disorder. This disorder can mimic al of disorders and to make things clear, sometimes it doesn't follow any rules at all. Basically this sensory processing disorder takes all the sensory information into the nervous system and body at rates higher and at an faster rate than a neuro typical body would. It was the discover of Abby's diagnosis that would also change my life. When filling out paper work I had that pit in my stomach feeling that I knew sensory processing disorder is what was happening to me. This disorder is what had caused me to feel so left out as a child, a teen and an adult. I found out about my disorder the same time we found out about Abby's. I can't explain to you the joy and excitement I had found when I realized I wasn't alone in these panic attacks, episodes of fear, and anxiety. I also found our getting car sick was from the sensory issues I have.
A long time has passed since I realized that my "issues" had a name. I was greatful to find quite a few sites on facebook that were support group for adults as well the ones for children. It wasn't long after I started talking to adults with the disorder I realized I should start a support group for parents who were dealing with that I had been for a long time. I am still amazed to this day at how many parents do not know they have sensory perceptional disorder until they see it in a child. Sometimes the child is their own, and sometimes its a niece or a nephew. In a few situations its been a grand parent who has finally received relief even at an older age.
My healing has taken place from finding a name to my disorder, learning through the therapist helping my daughter, and realizing it takes a plan to be able to treat my situation. I had to learn to give myself grace, and treat myself with the same respect that I had given to others. Education, support, and grace. I have also received a great teacher in my husband. One day he told me "you have to realize you can't help the way your body feels and reacts to the situation". "The only thing you can do is be able to control how you deal with it. "
A dear online friend has written a handbook for adults with sensory processing disorder. I can't wait to share it with you when it is finally published. I have been greatful to have been a part of the facebook community as she was writing the book. I know I may be mentioned in the book somewhere, but it's a wonderful and amazing thought to realize that my disorder could in fact have helped others. .
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Hi, I am guessing many of you know me already as I am going to post this link everywhere can :).
Thank you for visiting and spending your time with me. Lately I have felt a need to type and make a new blog. I have never been very good at spelling and my grammar is even worse. This things have kept me for writing in the past. I have since realized that most writers have an editor or two. I also have no idea how to make a website. I guess I will just have to rely on a template for now.
I have written a few posts lately on my other blog, but it just didn't seem right. It's time to start a new page. I will use this post to actually introduce myself to you today.
I was 29, and in the process of getting a diagnosis for my daughter, or at least trying to. She was about 18 months old and something wasn't right. She was born at 28 weeks and we had always been watching her close to see what was going on. She wasn't speaking at the pace we thought she should be. she was frustrated very often. She also was not able to ask for all the things she needed. She was able to lead me to what she needed. This we were told was a good sign. After trying a few times we finally had therapist in place to help. It was about this time that I realized there was a reason for the way I had felt and acted for most of my life. when my daughter was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder I realized that was something I understood. I had been dealing with sensory issue my entire life. I always got car sick, I always had panic and anxiety attacks every time we went somewhere new. I needed to be with my parents even as a teenager to feel secure. I had to sleep a lot in order to function. I could hear sounds other people couldn't hear. I was extremely emotional. I could never eat breakfast with out getting sick. So when we had my child diagnosed with Sensory processing disorder I didn't realize it would change my life in more ways that I could even imagine.
The older my daughter got, the more we were able to began therapy We learned how to navigate the stormy waters of meltdown town, and we learned foods and places to avoid. When I was researching spd. I came across a few sites that dealt with spd in adults. I was able to find a few friends to connect to. I no longer felt alone in the struggles I was facing. I was able to find a method for coping, and then even avoiding many of the panic attacks that had plagued me since I was 12.
I still suffer from depression at times. I am lonely from being at home with a special needs child, but I have been able to avoid a panic attack for almost a year now. This is huge. I was having panic attacks at least once a month before I started healing. In the past few months, I have felt a huge calling to reach out to the parents of children that have sensory processing disorder. I am astonished and amazed to find out spd. is in fact something that passes through family genes. Many parents deal with not only a child's spd but their own as well. We need a support system in place. We need each other.
I personally believe there is a power that comes from asking for help. There is a huge movement now on Instagram of women posting prescriptions for medication to combat anxiety and depression. I am a huge believer in getting out in the world instead of sitting on a computer but yet, I find a huge support system here I have never found anywhere else. I am strangely blunt and honest. I find it hard not to share my thoughts and feelings. I am trying to find a healing in sharing here. This isn't a place to talk to each other unless you want to. I want you to be able to read this, and I don't have to know about it. I want those that are dealing with anxiety, depression, and mental disorders to be able to come and feel peace. I want pastors and pastors spouses to come here and learn. I want friends to be able to understand. so welcome. Take your shoes off and get comfortable. it's going to be quite a ride.
Thank you for visiting and spending your time with me. Lately I have felt a need to type and make a new blog. I have never been very good at spelling and my grammar is even worse. This things have kept me for writing in the past. I have since realized that most writers have an editor or two. I also have no idea how to make a website. I guess I will just have to rely on a template for now.
I have written a few posts lately on my other blog, but it just didn't seem right. It's time to start a new page. I will use this post to actually introduce myself to you today.
I was 29, and in the process of getting a diagnosis for my daughter, or at least trying to. She was about 18 months old and something wasn't right. She was born at 28 weeks and we had always been watching her close to see what was going on. She wasn't speaking at the pace we thought she should be. she was frustrated very often. She also was not able to ask for all the things she needed. She was able to lead me to what she needed. This we were told was a good sign. After trying a few times we finally had therapist in place to help. It was about this time that I realized there was a reason for the way I had felt and acted for most of my life. when my daughter was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder I realized that was something I understood. I had been dealing with sensory issue my entire life. I always got car sick, I always had panic and anxiety attacks every time we went somewhere new. I needed to be with my parents even as a teenager to feel secure. I had to sleep a lot in order to function. I could hear sounds other people couldn't hear. I was extremely emotional. I could never eat breakfast with out getting sick. So when we had my child diagnosed with Sensory processing disorder I didn't realize it would change my life in more ways that I could even imagine.
The older my daughter got, the more we were able to began therapy We learned how to navigate the stormy waters of meltdown town, and we learned foods and places to avoid. When I was researching spd. I came across a few sites that dealt with spd in adults. I was able to find a few friends to connect to. I no longer felt alone in the struggles I was facing. I was able to find a method for coping, and then even avoiding many of the panic attacks that had plagued me since I was 12.
I still suffer from depression at times. I am lonely from being at home with a special needs child, but I have been able to avoid a panic attack for almost a year now. This is huge. I was having panic attacks at least once a month before I started healing. In the past few months, I have felt a huge calling to reach out to the parents of children that have sensory processing disorder. I am astonished and amazed to find out spd. is in fact something that passes through family genes. Many parents deal with not only a child's spd but their own as well. We need a support system in place. We need each other.
I personally believe there is a power that comes from asking for help. There is a huge movement now on Instagram of women posting prescriptions for medication to combat anxiety and depression. I am a huge believer in getting out in the world instead of sitting on a computer but yet, I find a huge support system here I have never found anywhere else. I am strangely blunt and honest. I find it hard not to share my thoughts and feelings. I am trying to find a healing in sharing here. This isn't a place to talk to each other unless you want to. I want you to be able to read this, and I don't have to know about it. I want those that are dealing with anxiety, depression, and mental disorders to be able to come and feel peace. I want pastors and pastors spouses to come here and learn. I want friends to be able to understand. so welcome. Take your shoes off and get comfortable. it's going to be quite a ride.
I read an article this week, a mama with a daughter on the autism spectrum wrote and article about herself instead of her daughter. I was inspired. I thought it was about time I break out the old blogger account and write on of my own. So, this is my lazy attempt at posting a message.
It's been almost a years since I have had any time of anxiety, or panic attack. I find it amazing and astonishing. The last attack was at my daughter's birthday day party. I thought I was going to have to go to the emergency room. MY parents and my husband talked me down and I realized I was just exhausted. I can't believe I have been so calm, and I can't believe I do not feel the anxiety and stress I feel in control for once in my life.
When I was 28 I had my second daughter Abbigail. When Abbigail was about 18 months we finally got a diagnosis that made since. Abbigail has sensory processing disorder. This disorder can mimic al of disorders and to make things clear, sometimes it doesn't follow any rules at all. Basically this sensory processing disorder takes all the sensory information into the nervous system and body at rates higher and at an faster rate than a neuro typical body would. It was the discover of Abby's diagnosis that would also change my life. When filling out paper work I had that pit in my stomach feeling that I knew sensory processing disorder is what was happening to me. This disorder is what had caused me to feel so left out as a child, a teen and an adult. I found out about my disorder the same time we found out about Abby's. I can't explain to you the joy and excitement I had found when I realized I wasn't alone in these panic attacks, episodes of fear, and anxiety. I also found our getting car sick was from the sensory issues I have.
A long time has passed since I realized that my "issues" had a name. I was greatful to find quite a few sites on facebook that were support group for adults as well the ones for children. It wasn't long after I started talking to adults with the disorder I realized I should start a support group for parents who were dealing with that I had been for a long time. I am still amazed to this day at how many parents do not know they have sensory perceptional disorder until they see it in a child. Sometimes the child is their own, and sometimes its a niece or a nephew. In a few situations its been a grand parent who has finally received relief even at an older age.
My healing has taken place from finding a name to my disorder, learning through the therapist helping my daughter, and realizing it takes a plan to be able to treat my situation. I had to learn to give myself grace, and treat myself with the same respect that I had given to others. Education, support, and grace. I have also received a great teacher in my husband. One day he told me "you have to realize you can't help the way your body feels and reacts to the situation". "The only thing you can do is be able to control how you deal with it. "
A dear online friend has written a handbook for adults with sensory processing disorder. I can't wait to share it with you when it is finally published. I have been greatful to have been a part of the facebook community as she was writing the book. I know I may be mentioned in the book somewhere, but it's a wonderful and amazing thought to realize that my disorder could in fact have helped others. .
It's been almost a years since I have had any time of anxiety, or panic attack. I find it amazing and astonishing. The last attack was at my daughter's birthday day party. I thought I was going to have to go to the emergency room. MY parents and my husband talked me down and I realized I was just exhausted. I can't believe I have been so calm, and I can't believe I do not feel the anxiety and stress I feel in control for once in my life.
When I was 28 I had my second daughter Abbigail. When Abbigail was about 18 months we finally got a diagnosis that made since. Abbigail has sensory processing disorder. This disorder can mimic al of disorders and to make things clear, sometimes it doesn't follow any rules at all. Basically this sensory processing disorder takes all the sensory information into the nervous system and body at rates higher and at an faster rate than a neuro typical body would. It was the discover of Abby's diagnosis that would also change my life. When filling out paper work I had that pit in my stomach feeling that I knew sensory processing disorder is what was happening to me. This disorder is what had caused me to feel so left out as a child, a teen and an adult. I found out about my disorder the same time we found out about Abby's. I can't explain to you the joy and excitement I had found when I realized I wasn't alone in these panic attacks, episodes of fear, and anxiety. I also found our getting car sick was from the sensory issues I have.
A long time has passed since I realized that my "issues" had a name. I was greatful to find quite a few sites on facebook that were support group for adults as well the ones for children. It wasn't long after I started talking to adults with the disorder I realized I should start a support group for parents who were dealing with that I had been for a long time. I am still amazed to this day at how many parents do not know they have sensory perceptional disorder until they see it in a child. Sometimes the child is their own, and sometimes its a niece or a nephew. In a few situations its been a grand parent who has finally received relief even at an older age.
My healing has taken place from finding a name to my disorder, learning through the therapist helping my daughter, and realizing it takes a plan to be able to treat my situation. I had to learn to give myself grace, and treat myself with the same respect that I had given to others. Education, support, and grace. I have also received a great teacher in my husband. One day he told me "you have to realize you can't help the way your body feels and reacts to the situation". "The only thing you can do is be able to control how you deal with it. "
A dear online friend has written a handbook for adults with sensory processing disorder. I can't wait to share it with you when it is finally published. I have been greatful to have been a part of the facebook community as she was writing the book. I know I may be mentioned in the book somewhere, but it's a wonderful and amazing thought to realize that my disorder could in fact have helped others. .
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