First Christmas party of the list. :) We survived. I am left with a lot of strange feelings i am not sure of. Grateful to have family close. I am missing those that are in another state. I am jealous, I am content. I am perplexed. I don't need anything fancy to make me happy. It does however echo the feeling I have had all this week. I have really wondered why God gave me the challenges in my life he has. I have came to the conclusion that everyone has issues but some chose to air them out, and others do not. I am honest and blunt and when I am hurting you will know about it. I can't help it. I am having a lot of jaw pain. IT's not a sharp intense pain, but it hurts. I am not doing well and I am making everyone miserable. I know it. My child has been acting like an infant in some ways and the other is mouthing me off so much i am miserable.
   I know it's not right to judge others, especially not other believers in faith but it's hard. So many people in charge of things, and others who are leaders live such secret lives it makes me miserable even to think of it. I miss having a fellowship however i am happy to be me and live where i can.
 My child is having a hard time getting out of the house. I am having a hard time getting out with the pain I have been experiencing. I am not one to make my pain out to be greater than others but to you who understand spd. you will get it. I have been fighting off depression. and anxiety for weeks. I can't go out with friends even if i get the odd occasional invite. I don't want to have fun I want to sit on the couch in my robe and sweatpants and binge watch netflix. I am not okay. It's okay though I am not sure how but it will be. I haven't taken my supplements for days. I hope by taking the vitamins I need and getting some extra rest will help.