Anxiety I curse the day you entered my life in full force. That night you ripped through my body like ice in my veins. I was 13. I stayed the night at a friends house. this house happened to be about an hour away from my parents house. I got to her house, nothing was like what I thought it would be. I ate dinner but realized everyone was staring at me. I was supposed to chose one of the items offered not both. I felt so silly. no one said anything to me before or after My friend was Catholic and I knew that. they prayed a little different than what I was used to, but it was cool. the mom had prayer posters everywhere in one room. she had list of name. I also thought this was pretty cool. After dinner it was a bit chaotic An older sister unexpectedly showed up for the weekend she played her CDs really loud.  we all went to the store lAter and brought home some movies to watch. they were stupid movies not bad movies but ones I wasn't comfortable with. finally we decided it was time for bed. I tried to sleep but woke up in a fit of anxiety. my friends dad had started smoking a pipe and I smelled it. to this day I love the smell of pipe tobacco but I wasn't used to it. The smell suddenly reminded me that I was away from home. I started throwing up and getting scared. I was given some pepto And realized this friend was actually pretty cool and good Taking care of me.
   this was just the first of these attacks that would happen to me on occasion for the rest of my life. in college I decided to finally take medication and do something about it. I still however got sick a lot on occasions that were new Or exciting. My body just didn't know how to react to the new smells and. Sounds. I was exhausted from taking in new stimuli. I stare at my kids playing in the hotel pool with thier daddy. I pray I don't pass this one I pray that the begin to see me taking care of myself. I pray they see me as strong and not giving in to the stupid anxiety. I pray the know where my strength comes from. I am learning on finding a stopping point before my body gives in to the anxiety.